ungrateful daughter

i had a pretty long day today. actually my class ended at 6pm today. kind of i had a full class for today dari pagi. eh btw, kelas kul 10.30 abes around 12.30. and i tade kelas after lunch hour. and sambung balik kul 4 td. so lepas abes kelas 12.30, friends and me went to SACC Mall. plan nye nak cari saki baki buku yang masih tiada utk semester ni.wen went there by taxi (since kami tanak gerakkan kete kami utk parking yg limited). around 4 kami sampai balik faculty for the last class. the class was ok. even i tak la brapa nak paham. (i need some time to get back for study environment). supposely kelas abes at 6. but tunggang tebalik kelas tu abes 6.30. SANGAT PENAT.

bile dah masuk kete nak drive home, jgn la kata sesak nye jalan. dlm uitm pun bole sesak. apetah lg jalan pulang. kaki dah lenguh2 even kete auto. arini sort of kelas saya mcm tawaf satu fakulti. memula tingkat 5 tetengah bangunan, pastu tingkat 2 kat ujung bakang bangunan and kul 4 plak ujung tingkat 6. exercise btol la naik tangga turun tangga. dah sampai area umah, singgah photostat those notes given by a friend. binding bagai tup tap dah kul 8. perot jgn tny la. lapa tak tekire. masuk je umah tros mau mandi. tetibe mak muncul ajak p makan kat luar. so i told her i penat teramat sgt and i would like to have dinner at home, gosok baju, kemas beg and tido. so dia diam saje.

after i mandi, i decided to have my dinner la. since abah and mak dah makan. mak kata abah tak p pasar malam td sbb ujan lebat. abah just bought us dinner. abah bought abang roti canai kat kedai mamak. and abah bought mak mee hailam kat kedai sebelah. tibe2 i punye abah beli nasi putih, sayur mamak and ikan goreng. hmm pelik. its really obvious la kan? asal i nye lain? i dgn rase penat itu mau makan je la. malas mau tny. patot la mak sebok ajak i kuar. dia tau itu bukan taste anak pompan dia makan.

baru je i bukak tudung saji, tangan i tetepis satu jag besar air masak. ape lagi? tumpah la atas meja makan, kat lantai toksah cakap la. automatically i melenting tau. i tatau ape yg i marahkan, ape yg i maki kan. sambil mop lantai tetibe i leh nanges. then abah p dapor nak tlg, i ckp tapayah. then tetibe mak plak ckp jom kuar makan. i tanak. i sgt la rase mau nanges.

as i enter my room. tros i nanges gile2. i dunno why. either i penat teramat sgt and tetibe byk lg keje nak buat, or i pissed off abah mcm sentiasa put abang first on his mind. i dunno. i cried heavily. sampai masa nanges pun i terpk nape i nanges. i just want to rehat je after dat.

my dad dtg pujuk bagai. i kata nak tido. pastu tak sampai 15 minit, dia ajak i makan lg. he made me nasi goreng which is my favourite. memula i tanak bangun konon nye ego. but he is my abah. my only abah. abah yang slalu beralah dgn mak for us. when i do wrong and kene marah ngan mak, abah always stand up for me. i makan apa dia masak utk i td. and i really2 rase besalah. i tatau nape i marah sgt and nape i bukan org penyabar. and time ni la baru i ingat nak mengucap banyak2, beristigfar.

when i see abah's face, i rase sgt bersalah. kejam. tak bersyukur. and tak berterima kasih at all. i feel like im gonna cry as i see abah's face tadi. why i marah sgt? im not sure. i terasa nak sangat mintak maap. tp yeah saya sgt ego. and sampai skang i lom mintak maap. but b4 i masuk bilik ni td, i ade pegi kat dia and picitkan kaki dia sbb i nampak dia dok picit kaki dia sendiri. i luv my abah. i dont want anything bad happen to abah. even to everyone i love. im not ready for anything. saya mahu abah ada selalu disisi saya. sebab saya sayang abah. im sorry abah.

moga dipanjangkan umur dan diberi kesihatan yang baik untuk abah. Amin